December 18, 2010

Define The Term (2 Comments)

Filed under: Dictionary — The Spider Herself @ 10:34 pm


Scenic Route:

A. The longest possible way to get to where you are going even if it looks shorter on the map.

B. The way with the most curves, ups and downs, and washboards.

C. The way with the most adventure and memory building events.

D. All of the above.

December 12, 2010

The Social Dilemma (2 Comments)

Filed under: Life — The Spider Herself @ 5:17 pm

During the Holiday Season there are lots of occasions for Socially Inept people to make a fool of themselves.  In order to educate and, hopefully, decrease the chance of embarrassment, let’s discuss a situation and possible responses.  The Scene: A Social Situation i.e. a party.  Someone comments that you look nice and asks if you have lost weight.  You respond with:

A. A demur “Thank you” and smile discreetly.

B. “Yes, yes, I have lost weight” you loudly proclaim knowing full well that two pounds is statistically insignificant.

C. Proclaim loudly that you are wearing a gut constrictor.*

D. Both B and C (loudly)

Leave what you thought I answered with (because, really, this is all about me) and what you think is the best socially adept answer.

*I know, I know, it has a much less descriptive name but whether you call it Spandex, Shapers, Garters, or Corsets they all DO the same thing- constrict your guts.